I Love My Lips
Narrator:
And now it’s time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part
of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.
One day while talking with Dr. Archibald Larry confronts
one of his deepest fears….
Larry:
If my lips ever left my mouth,
Packed a bag and headed south,
That’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.
Dr. Archibald:
I see, that’d be too bad, you’d be so sad?
Larry:
That’d be too bad.
Dr. Archibald:
Alrighty.
Larry:
If my lips said “Adios,
I don’t like you, I think you’re gross.�
That’d be too bad, I might get mad.
Dr. Archibald:
Hm, that’d be too bad, you might get mad?
Larry:
That’d be too bad.
Dr. Archibald:
Fascinating.
Larry:
If my lips moved to Duluth
Left a mess and took my tooth.
That’d be too bad, I’d call my Dad.
Dr. Archibald:
Oh dear, that’d be too bad, you’d call your dad?
Larry:
That’d be too bad.
Dr. Archibald:
Hold it. Did you say your father? Facinating!
So what you’re saying is if your lips left you?
Larry:
That’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.
I might get mad, I call my Dad.
That’d be too bad.
Dr. Archibald:
That’d be too bad?
Larry:
That’d be too bad.
Dr. Archibald:
Why?
Larry:
Because I love my lips. (makes noises in tune with his lips)
Dr. Archibald:
Oh my! This is more serious than I thought.
Larry, what do you see here?
Larry:
Um, that looks like a lip.
Dr. Archibald:
What about this?
Larry:
It’s a lip.
Dr. Archibald:
And this?
Larry:
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip.
Dr. Archibald:
Larry, tell me about your childhood.
Larry:
When I was just two years old,
I left my lips out in the cold.
And they turned blue,
What could I do?
Dr. Archibald:
Oh dear. They turned blue,
What could you do?
Larry:
Oh, They turned blue.
Dr. Archibald:
I see.
Larry:
On the day I got my tooth,
I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth.
She had a beard and it felt weird.
Dr. Archibald:
My, my, she had a beard
And it felt weird?
Larry:
She had a beard.
Dr. Archibald:
Oh!
Larry:
Ten days after I turned 8,
Got my lips stuck in a gate
My friends all laughed…
And I just stood there until the fire department came
and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend
the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar
who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn’t
even talk to each other until the fifth week because both
our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking
he just spoke polish and I only knew like three words in polish
except now I know four because Oscar taught me the
word for lip, “Usta�.
Dr. Archibald:
Your friends all laughed. Usta. How do you spell that?
Larry:
I don’t know.
Dr. Archibald:
So what you’re saying is that when you were young?
Larry:
They turned blue, what could I do?
She had a beard, and it felt weird.
My friends all laughed, usta.
Dr. Archibald:
I’m confused.
Larry:
I love my lips!
(Larry makes noises with his lips while Dr.
Archibald tries to get his attention.)
Dr. Archibald:
Uh, Larry. Larry. Wait Larry, Larry! That’s about enough, thank you.
(voice over of Narrator)
Narrator:
This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next week
when we hear Larry say –
Larry:
Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?
Dr. Archibald:
Oh, look at the time!
(fades out with Larry continuing to make noises with his lips)
New Lyrics 
