Shelley: I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day in the morning.
And what was in the ships all three, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter]
Shelley: Shut up, turds!
And what was in the ships all three, on Christmas Day in the morning?
The Virgin Mary and Christ were there, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter]
Shelley: The Virgin Mary and -Shut
up, turds!
-and Christ were there, on Christmas Day in the morning.
Let us all rejoice amain On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter Growing]
Shelley: Let us all-
I told you to shut up!
-rejoice amain On Christmas Day in the morning.
Shelly is starting to get pissed, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Nonstop Laughter]
Shelley: Shelly got up and killed the turds, on Christmas Day, in the morning. Arrrrrrrgh!
New Lyrics 
