I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh IV
Giddy as a gang banger with a set of sutures
Where his Magic Johnson ought to be
Yes, I'll tell you just the thing
You need to be the next big thing
Let's start in with a test of your intelligence
And zest for the counter productive
Up and down, and round about, and out the back
And keep your mouth shut tight
The lights are staying out but no sweat
I've got aim like a mack truck
Guess how many fingers? Okay
Guess how many more I can fit there
Guess right get the toaster but you know
Miss, guessing gets you nowhere
I've been baking cakes for the enemy
I've been dying to find out the hard way
I've been taking friends to the alleyway
Two down now but who's counting anyway?
Yes, I can do everything
You need from out of my new SUV
All my work is guaranteed
To last the length of your recovery
Put away those pliers, honey
Trust me 'cause I know the options
How about a nine month long vacation
And a two foot coffin
I've been getting up, close and intimate
Some close calls but I'm getting into it
In some states they say, you can burn for it
But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it
It's not a bad thing
To get professional
It's got a nice ring
Mandy goes to med school
And I've been taking tips from the government
I've been getting damn good at hiding it
Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it
Two down now but who's gonna notice it?
And if you show up and I am unavailable
My partner Brian, would love to take care of you
He is a nice man
Thoroughly reliable
He's in a rock band
And he goes to med school
Oh, he goes to med school
Oh, oh, he goes to med school
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