Performed by:
Toby (Edward 'Ed' Sanders)
Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp)
Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter)
Toby: Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention puh-lease?
Do you wake ev’ry morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
What ought not to be there
Well ladies and gentlemen
From now on you can waken at ease
You need never again have a worry or care
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare
Gentlemen, you are about to see
Something what rose from the dead--
On the top of my head!
T’was Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir
That’s what did the trick, sir
True, sir, true
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir!
Just like an elixir
Ought to do
How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed
Does Pirelli’s stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir
’Tis unique
Rub a minute--
Stimulatin’ innit?
Soon you’ll have to thin it once a week!
Sweeney Todd: Pardon me, ma’am, what’s that awful stench?
Mrs. Lovett: Are we standing near an open trench?
Pardon me, sir, what’s that awful stench?
Sweeney Todd: Must be standing near an open trench
Toby: Buy Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir
Anything what’s slick, sir
Soon sprouts curls
Try Pirelli’s!
When they see the thick, sir
You can have your pick, sir
Of the girls!
Wanna buy a bottle, mister?
Sweeney Todd: What is this?
Mrs. Lovett: What is this?
Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss
Mrs. Lovett: Smells like-- phew!
Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss
Mrs. Lovett: Wouldn’t touch it if I was you, dear
Sweeney Todd: This is piss…
Piss with ink
Toby: Let Pirelli’s activate your roots, sir
Sweeney Todd: Keep it off your boots, sir--
eats right through
Toby: Yes, get Pirelli’s!
Use a bottle of it
Ladies seem to love it!
Mrs. Lovett: Flies do too!
Thanks to Ray for these lyrics
Thanks to Delspencerdeltorro for these lyrics
New Lyrics 
