Spoken: a man gets on a train and starts having thoughts about his past, and a lot of references to old procol harum songs go through his head.)
’i’d been wandering around manhattan for a couple of days, kinda lost; suddenly I found myself in grand central station. I looked up at the board: there it was -- ’last train to niagara 1:15’: I just had to get on it. I had to get up there and find the answers ...’
(salty dog train noise / stomping waltz-time riff from in held)
On the last train to niagara, on the fast train to the falls
I was heading into danger, I was climbing up the walls
I was feeling kind of empty, feeling kind of bleak
I was twice removed from yesterday, but halfway through next week
Well I tuned into the radio and flipped across the dial
I was searching for the missing chord, I’d missed it for awhile
Then they played a song from long ago, a picture through the glass
The story of a spanish brave whose light was fading fast
(conquistador intro, post-edmonton)
The tracks were humming harder now, the room began to sway
The music turned much louder now, as the ceiling flew away (+awsop, + asd)
A crowd of drunken sailor boys came in upon the sea
The captain wanted action fast, the crowd was getting mean
(climbing scale from whaling stories)
Then I smoked another cigarette, and fixed another drink
When you’re out there in deep water, you just can’t afford to sink
I was halfway through the looking glass, halfway up to mars
It was getting close to morning time, somewhere ’neath the stars
(excerpts from strangers in space, the worm and the tree, and the climbing theme from rambling on)
Just then a passing mermaid came and took me by the hand
She gently soothed my fevered brow and led me back to land
When I heard the sound of laughter, woke up upon my knees
I was heading to that preacher man, to give me my reprieve
(fragment of the devil came from kansas)
Well the preacher-man said, he said ’son, you won’t find favour on the dark side of the street
Better straighten up your overcoat, and get back on your feet
No use looking to the future, if you keep on coming back,
And you know you’re going nowhere, if your shoes don’t fit your hat.’
(excerpt from homburg)
On the last train to niagara, on the fast train to the falls
I was heading into danger, climbing up the walls
I was feeling kind of empty, I was feeling kind of bleak
I was twice removed from yesterday, but halfway through next week.
On the last train to niagara, on the fast train to the falls
The last train to niagara, the fast train to the falls
Last train to niagara, fast train to the falls
New Lyrics 
