From
(Note: Many of the verses in this song
were accompanied by Beck on the tail
end but are not transcribed as such here)
People say my broken friend is useless
But I say his mind is free
There's lots of things my mangled robot
friend could be
He could make a good hat rack
He only has to stand there
Or a cheap door stop
He doesn't need to move
Or a great big giant thermos
With a twist off top
That would be good for soup
He could be a storage closet
For outdated pants
I like 'em tight
My broken friend could do it all
Just give him a chance
That robot has a tragic secret
That I'd like to share
For real?
My broken friend is closer to me
than an ass to a chair
That robots name I never told you
You could not foresee
I'll say it loud and sing it proud
His name is you and me
Don't melt me down into a crow bar
It suffers alone
Just cause I can't move my arms and legs
Or toss me into a trash can
Just cause I can't cook you ham and eggs
Don't crush me into an anchor
Just because I can't jump and dance and sing
I'm telling you my broken friend
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care
I'm telling you my broken friend
Can do most anything!
Yeah!
New Lyrics 
