You can blame me,
Try to shame me,
And still I'll care for you,
You can run around,
Even put me down,
Still I'll be there for you.
So it's Saturday and I'd rather be chillin'
But you wanna-take me with you to Karen Millen
To buy a new dress cos we're goin for dinner
But none of yours fit cos you used to be slimmer
Or fatter or somethin', I don't know anymore
But your stood at the door and your huffing and puffing
There's no way in hell that you're bluffing
Me, you and shopping aint up for discussion
Now call me a pessimist but I've looked in your wardrobe
And trust me there just aint one dress-I-missed
Know for a fact what your cupboard possesses
So why do you need 20 little black dresses?
Compliments are like rolling a dice
Some advice be precise when you say she looks nice:
"You don't need no help from Suzannah and Trinny,
You're tanned and you're skinny, What more do you want! ?"
You can play me (Got me wrapped round you finger)
Try to shame me (Still I stand here and linger)
And still I'll care for you (Cos you're fit not a minger, I sit like a dog whilst I'm stuck on your leash)
You can run around (All erratic and fiery)
Even put me down (Spend a week in the priory)
Still I'll be there for you (I will, I will, I will, I will, love but you're clearly a loon)
We get back to your flat when you crack and you give me a slap
Cos I don't wipe my feet on the mat
And for some stupid reason its my bloody fault that you didn't feed the cat
But I don't answer back
I just act like a happy-chap
To avoid any chance of me getting one more of your smack-attacks
Make you a sandwich but I shoulda known
That you just wanted simply a packet of snack-a-jacks
And now I want my independence back
But alas I just stare at your ass
And confess to myself that it can't be surpassed
And you're far from a moose so I swallow abuse
It's part of your vanity
That you think it's ok every-other word you say's a profanity
Please for sake of humanity
Look, I might understand if you pleaded insanity
What you're lacking is clarity
See you call me your man but you think I'm a charity
Thought it was love but really how can-it-be
Gradually sensing disparity
As we head out for dinner my bottom lip-drops
You're strutting in jeans, a t-shirt and flip-flops
Why buy a dress and just leave it to sit?
No, wait let me guess it don't even fit
You can play me (Got me wrapped round you finger)
Try to shame me (Still I stand here and linger)
And still I'll care for you (Cos you're fit not a minger, I sit like a dog whilst I'm stuck on your leash)
You can run around (All erratic and fiery)
Even put me down (Spend a week in the priory)
Still I'll be there for you (I will, I will, I will, I will, love but you're clearly a loon)
You can play me (Got me wrapped round you finger)
Try to shame me (Still I stand here and linger)
And still I'll care for you (Cos you're fit not a minger, I sit like a dog whilst I'm stuck on your leash)
You can run around (All erratic and fiery)
Even put me down (Spend a week in the priory)
Still I'll be there for you (I will, I will, I will, I will, love but you're clearly a loon)
I'm gonna care for you,
I will, I will, I will,
I will, I will, I will,
I will, I will, I will,
I will, I will, I will,
I will, I will, I will,
I will, I will, I will,
I will, I will, I will,
I'm gonna care for you.
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