There is a reason you see
That I’m thicker in the middle
I could blame it on a bad knee
Maybe just a little
I could blame it on my blue jeans
Or that my wife is such a fine chef
My metabolism’s changing
But I haven’t told you why yet
It’s a magical, mysterious
Hispanically ambiguous glaze
What is that white stuff on my nachos?
It’s too thin for melted cheese
It’s too thick to be just milk
So won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff I’m consuming?
Cause it’s so consuming me
Well you know they’ll never tell you
Cause then they’d have to kill you
There’s a mother load of cheese juice
That they found at machu pichu
At the temple of the Incas
There’s fountain flowing cheese dip
Then they smuggled it to Texas
Then they tricked us with the free chips
It’s mind control
In a salsa bowl
I’m not even sure I remember how I got here
Well, give me some of that white stuff on my nachos
It’s too thin for melted cheese
It’s too thick to be just milk
And it’s a blonde consistency
What is that white stuff I’m consuming?
Cause it’s so consuming me
So this is sorta a love song
It’s a kind of confession
As for me you see I’m long gone
So consider this a lesson
They wanna make us into zombies
Lurch into la hacienda
To gobble up the chimichangis
That isn’t how you want to end up
But Mexico remembers the Alamo
And the ghost of monte zuma’s on the move
It’s takin over with the white stuff on my nachos
It’s too thin for melted cheese
It’s too thick to be just milk
So won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff I’m consuming?
Cause it’s so consuming me
What is that white stuff won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff, I don’t care just pass the cheese
New Lyrics 
